Living dead's profile

.Name. Olivia Natasha JeanMellon

.AKA. Mai Miyuki (Official Name For PR in Japan)
.Remembrance. 27 April

.Classified As. Overdosed Suicide

.Buried In. Ashburn, Virginia [USA].

.Daily Funeral. Stone Bridge High

.A.I.M. Silent666Cries

.Yahoo ID. addictivegirl666


.ICQ #. 122605943

I Don't Believe In

I'm feeling..


Pics Of Me

"You could say that the apocalypse is part of the natureal death cycle. Nature is in constant apocalypse. One positive attitude I take is that even if humans manage to fuck things up being belief and humanity is out of the picture. It's not bad but sad."

Listed Wishes

A New Mp3 Player
Black Leather Corset
Sony Clip [Handheld]
A Milk Bottle
Sony VSIO Notebook
A New Water Bong
A DigiCam Or VideoCam
Theatre Of Tragedy's New Cd
A bouquet of real black roses
Big Johnny Depp Poster
Black Light
Another Lava Lamp
New Black Heels
See James Ozbourne again
Black Laced Dress
New Microphone Studio System
Lacuna Coil-Comalies

Upcoming Events

Leslie W. Bday 11.21
George W. Bday 11.20
Lindsay I. Bday 10.31
In Memory of A Little life 11.12

Break Away Night 11.18
James O. Bday 09.08
Kenny B. Bday 12.13
Jonathan K. Bday 11.25
Calvin K. Bday 11.7
Michelle T. Bday 10.16
Break the Code Competition 10.04
In memory of Scaldhead 10.26

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who have caused me pain
Caused me grief
You have given me the ability to cry
Without tears left to shed
The pain has been my paper
And the bloodied tears my ink
You have given me the gift of depression
And the pleasure of self-mutilation
I will not forget any of you in my dark days
Your names will be written in blood
Stained in this very book

Thank You
For condeming yourselves
To the same torture you have shown me
Through the years
So when the lights go out
You shall recieve my thanks
After you read the pain on the paper
Written in bloodied ink
You shall realize you made a mistake
Thank you for that satisfaction
From the depths of my darkened soul

Love Always,

Not Another Word

Minds changed & Bridges burned
Souls Ravaged & Tables turned
Happy Memories fade to dust
There is no love, only lust.
Indecision kills one more
A drop of blood falls to the floor.

Razor blades pierce through skin
Little boys turn into men,
Little girls turn into whores.
Another man beats down her door
Minds altered, lives destroyed
Another soul lost to the void

A heart is broken, the body dies
A victim of soft spoken lies
Poison injected, darkness creeps
Another mother softly weeps
The body falls, a lesson learned
A life is lost,

Spiritual Cramps

Tie me up, shut me out,
Abuse me.
Strap me down, beat me hard,
Misuse me.
Make it hurt, pleasure scars,
You slay me.
Sex and blood, when you're done,
Replay me.

The poems above is part of
Copyright 2003 - 06 by Olivia JM.

Human stupidity is the cause of future apocalypse

Killed silently in my bed..

Why Am I still here in Hell?

This world is sick, kill yourself or get over it..

Blogs That You Should Visit




**Melly's Blog**


Sweet Blif_M3

Push's blog

Finz Up!!!

Mark O.o


Sinister Fantasies

Angel Tears


Halcyon's M.U.W

Friday's Child


Contact me if u want ur blog to be linked here. Goodbye.

Contact Me

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Sunday, January 18, 2004
.:Contradicting Mind:.

.:Contradicting Mind:.

.: I dont get it.. Why? I said, i dont ever want to be with you again.. Yet i think about us all the time.. Why do i love you yet i wish i would rip you into pieces and devour your flesh with every bite? Why do i hate you yet I wish that our marriage would be possible? Why do you even love me from the start? Why do you even try bring such pain into my life? Dont you think my life's bad enough, why did you just walk in to it, gave me both hope and damnation? Why didnt you leave when i did you wrong.. why did you kiss me goodbye, telling me you forgave everything i did and have another bitch on our bed? Why did you put me in this pain? Why made me kill my own blood? Why did you make me love you so? Why? Why do you still make me cry till this day? Why do we still love one another? Why are you  still holding on?  Why do I even  hoping that we will work out? Why cant you just walk away or destroy me as you said you would? Why am i crying every night wishing everything never happen? What's wrong with me? Why do i accept the sufferings you gave me? I hope that i could stab you again and again, looking at you.. fading away slowly. If i could do it once, i can do it again. Why do you put me in this? Am I still the only one wrong from our mistakes? Why am i stuck here still thinking about you?  WHY!?  What the fuck is wrong?! What is wrong. . ? :.

Posted at 02:14 am by GothicJinx
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Thursday, January 15, 2004
.:I'm back with a new Comp!:.

.:I'm back with a new Comp!:.

.: Hey people.. Thanks for all these concern about me and my weird disappearance after the flu.. Well, my comp basically was down cause of some stuff i did to it myself.. Now no worries! I'm healthy again, and back with a new computer. :D This computer's awesome. I have both linux and xp on my system so i dont have to worry not getting used to using windows.

It's Exams week! *ew*.. I think i did pretty bad with three weeks outta school due to my flu, i couldnt really catch up with half the stuff they went through.. Well i think i will still manage to pass, this time i'll just kick back a lil and not expect too much from myself. Actually i'm going through the best period of my life, I didnt have any crap to worry, troubled about.. Maybe 2004 will be a much better yr for me.. cause everything's going pretty well, even though my insomnia problems kicking in again.. but in exchange for less intestinal pain.. Why not? Oh yeah, and i survived the flu! Somehow, Things seems right. Just right. I dont know. For so many years I've finally got what i call a "little peaceful era" . . Maybe for a short while, but i'm contented how things are now.  Lol. Even studies are still a pain but nothing's perfect. I just hope that things just stay the way it is now, i dont mind studying in exchange for all these peace i'm getting in my head.

Btw, before i end my entry, I really appreciate people keep coming back to read what i have to whine or cheer about. Even when i'm gone for awhile,  you guys dropped me mails and msges wishing me happy new yr and xmas, i really appreciate all these concern you guys have for me... to all these people, i'm sorry i'm not around to wish you guys happy new yr or merry xmas..  Well I hope you all have a great year ahead, get to do what you want, and get whatever you want! :.

P.S: sorry i'm never was good at words.

Posted at 10:23 pm by GothicJinx
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Monday, December 08, 2003
.:Bad Flu = 3 Weeks Out of Sch:.

.:Bad Flu = 3 Weeks Out of Sch:.

.: I just came back from the doctor's, I've been diagosed with the current U.S. influenza that you guys watched on T.V. :( I'll be out of school for approximately 3weeks.. If things turn worst for me, I shall be under hospital supervision. This is so dumb. These doctors are just making things sound really bad. My parents were like freaked out and they got me personal utensils, cup.. it's good too, cause I am so afraid to break their expensive plates etc. I'll be bored to death having nothing to do for 3 weeks but just resting. Even i feel very ill, i thought the maximum no. of off days would be a day or two. Whatever it is, I'm glad that my parents got more fruits and salads for me.. LOVE IT. Anyway, You guys better take care of yourselves, dont end up like me, being ill. No worries, Even if i die it would be a blessing. Now i shall go try sleeping again. . Wish me luck. :.

Posted at 04:29 pm by GothicJinx
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.:Note for Splotchy:.

.:Note for Splotchy:.

.: Splotchy, Please do not worry about your dog, Cheyenne. She will be alright. I understand how you're feeling right now, having this problem affecting her when she's now 12. I just needed to write this note to you cause I am very concerned too. Look on the bright side (even that's not what you normally hear from me). I believe she will be okay, as i know too she's a very brave dog to have somewhat saved your life. So YES SPLOTCHY! SHE WILL BE ALRIGHT!!!!! Just remember to feed her the medication!! *hugs* 
-Luv Squeechy. :.

Posted at 01:08 am by GothicJinx
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Sunday, December 07, 2003
.:I'm Sick Again:.

.:I'm Sick Again:.

.:  Another sunday.. My room is still in a mess. We were out of school on friday, due to the snow storm that brought us around 7 inches of snow.. Therefore I was excited to build my snowman on that morning. I woke up at around late 7, dressed up and head out to the yard and build my base of my giantic snowman. Alone I played some snowboarding at the back of my house, the snow piled golf course which is around 5 feet away from the deck. It was fun. But then it started to snow heavily, so I came back in. After that, things didnt went right. I was coughing my lungs out after awhile, then I felt like it was hard to breathe. So i kept taking my medicine for asthma and cough mixture. I felt better on Saturday, so I was spending most of my day with my piano and cello. My body ache a little, but not as bad to stop me from doing things I want to do. The good thing was my stomach didnt gave me problems.
At night I spent time talking to James Ozbourne, he's going to work as what his original career was, a tattoo artist. He said he need to get away from his computer programming, IT career. Oh yea, he got some new tattoos on too. I thought one of his new tattoo idea was pretty cool. The new tattoo is like hmm a rosary, holes burned on his body where the rosary coming out from within, with a inverted cross that have Jesus with an evil look, red eyes etc.. I thought it matches his 666 tattoo on his belly. But I wasn't really into his new pentagram tattoo on his wrist.
Then today, i woke up without a voice, my bodyached like crazy.. i couldn't sleep the whole night. I just started moving around in my room. I coughed some red stuff out (maybe it's blood) earlier when I was having breakfast with my parents. They freaked out. Well, My dad just think it's some minor crap and kept critizing that i should have my shoes on. I am having a fever too. I just feel so ill. *coughs* I just hope school will close for another few days till i feel better.  :.

Posted at 11:20 am by GothicJinx
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Thursday, November 27, 2003
.:The Days You Put Me Through:.

.:The Days You Put Me Through:.

.:  I'll never forget the days you put me through..
    You put me down on my knees, making me feel that i was nothing.
    The days I begged for your release,
    You slapped me on my face,
    You abused me.
    I knew I took myself to a life where I had to stand beside,
    Enslaved by you.
    You told me I had no other choice, 
    You convinced my love for you.
    You told me everything I thought I was,
    You made me hold you up like a holy god.
    Your threats shone the path only to my death.
    For you have pushed me to the edge.
    Leaving me no where else to go.
    But now, You're out of my life, but why..
    Did you have to leave your shadow killing me from the inside?  :.

    Free versed- Olivia JeanMellon

Posted at 07:45 pm by GothicJinx
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.:Good Sleep On Thanksgiving!:.

.:Good Sleep On Thanksgiving!:.

.: *stretches* I just woke up at 1:30pm earlier.. It felt sooo good to have a good sleep. For a few days i haven't been sleeping well.. Happy Thanksgiving! To people who called me over and over to greet me thanksgiving or msged me online.. Even though i was kinda pissed off by the number of calls i have to take when i'm asleep, I appreciate your time just to wish me happy thanksgiving. I'll make sure I stuff my stomach with lots of turkey & ham. Anyway, have fun you guys! Thanks for being such great friends. Ok now im gonna go back to bed. *bows* :. 

           Turkey Says:  This is the turkey way of thanking you for not cooking me tonight. 


Posted at 01:56 pm by GothicJinx
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Friday, November 21, 2003
.:Occupied by Annoying Tests!:.

.:Occupied by Annoying Tests!:.

.: *Catching a breath* These everyday tests and quizes need to be stopped. It's driving me crazy. I'm still tired cause I was up studying for my Chem test last night till around 4, had a good 1 hr nap and went to school. I missed a few friends' IMs cause I am soo sleepy and went to bed at 5pm. I had dinner at around 10:30 and here one two hrs away from collapsing on my bed.
Today my school's electricity went off again I guess it's the construction of houses around our school.. It fickled for a few times and suddenly during lunch, the whole school had no electricity, excellent timing. It is so fun. Oh yeah, on the windows of the cafeteria says "Don't Blow It!" It's so hilarious. We didn't know what it was suppose to mean so everyone was making fun of it.. Came to realised that it was just a campaigne that DECA held to promote no smoking.. Blow pops were given to people who sign their pledge.. Of course a girl like me who loves lollipop will sign it. So instead of signing my name, I signed "Angelina J.". lol I got a blow pop!!
After lunch I have English, by Ms Sebring who is this really annoying old hag, who never stops whining.. Gets impatient with questions all the time. She's one of the worst teachers I have met all my life. No one, I mean NO ONE likes her in any of her classes. Today we were schduled to finish the "Shield" project, so I was coloring the picture.. So when I was coloring she was talking to my best friend, Steven, and was like kinda yelling at his work.. then I was pissed off with her earlier for not answering my questions, i went chanting to the air "You're so mean." for many times..Finally she heard me (I wanted her to) , and said "Olivia, dont be so negative." So i looked up at her and said "Can you tell me why did you say I'm negative?" .. kayla said  "Oh cause i guess it's ur big attitude towards her." I cant be bothered with her, everyone in class supported me cause she's just this big annoyance to everyone. "You are dismissed..." from the announcement and everyone was about to leave, "Olivia, Can you stay for awhile? I need to talk to you." I shouted back across the room with an annoyed tone at her "I can't stay cause I need the bus ride for today and it's the first bus to leave. Are You gonna give me a ride home then?" She goes "Then come tomorrow morning".. I smiled and replied "Oh, We'll see." .. Everyone knows that Ms Sebring must have pissed me bad to have me talk like that towards her. Everyone curses her at the back but didn't have the guts to confront her. So I shall do it tomorrow. :) Bitch. :.

Posted at 12:10 am by GothicJinx
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
.:Finally, I'm Back..:.

.:Finally, I'm Back..:.

.: Hmm yes. I'm back.. Good or bad whatever. I had fun, i guess. . during this week of break away.. There's several things that happened, and of course i can't remember it all to record it here in my blog. Well, this week as usual I stayed near my computer and piano.. Though I was breaking away from human contact, I talked to only a few special people online ( don't get piss off if you're not one of them. Cause it's not worth it :P )..
Currently, my brains are floating images of James. . I think i'm missing him. My room is in a Fucking mess. . I keep telling myself "Olivia, Pack your room, you know you want a nice and neat room". . But I'm so lazy to do that. I just do it halfway and get distracted by my piano or computer.
One thing seriously, I don't get it. I always see that parents forcing their kids to practice their piano, all those yelling and screaming just because the kid doesn't want to practice. See, I love playing my piano. I can spend whole day just not doing anything but playing it. And my parents told me this, "Olivia, I think you should go for a walk or something. . Go movies since Calvin came earlier and asked you to go. ." Well, see I don't want to do anything else. I just want to play my piano, do my stuff  and be left alone. .
Last thing, I might be gone again, cause I fucked my comp up again this time ( Cal, stop laughing. I know it's stupid ) . . So I will most probably update my blog when I clear off the data in my comp without clearing my inventions. Well, Goodnight humans & thanks for reading. This life is boring i know. But hell  I'm still able live with it. :) So. . . Bye. :. Didn't expect to be perfect girlfriend.. 

Quiz I took Earlier due to boredom. I know, it's kiddish. Lol.

Posted at 12:09 am by GothicJinx
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Saturday, November 08, 2003
.:Will be away..:.

.:Will be away..:.

.: Just informing you guys that my blog I will be away for a few days, cause this week back in two years ago, was the toughest week of my life. I wished that I have not done what I've decided in those days. Changes will still be taking place in the blog but I will not be updating any entries unless there's something that great going on. Have a good weekend people. Always remember that there's always a choice in the beginning when you do something. :.

P.S: Two years now, I still can't forget. I'm still guilty, I hope you understand. I still love you, my child. I wished you were here.

Posted at 04:55 am by GothicJinx
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Copyright 2003 - 06 by Olivia JM. All rights reserved.